I had booked a table at a nightclub where I paid for a few bottles of alcohol and suggested that everything they wanted on top of that be split among the guests.
My intention was to connect, dance, laugh and have a fun time with those I considered close to me.
I didn’t measure myself and how much I drank so the night went by in a blink (I blacked out) only to find myself sitting alone at the booth.
Everyone was gone and their bill was left there unpaid. 🤬
I resented the whole situation, I resented them leaving me all alone while drunk…
It angered me that they had left without paying, It upset me that I didn’t remember a night that was supposed to be memorable…
And above all, I resented myself because, deep inside I knew that this was of my own creation.
I knew that my addiction to alcohol and partying didn’t breed the most supportive of relationships.
I knew that my body had had enough yet I kept forcing it.
I knew that some of my friendships weren’t healthy yet still attempted to keep them.
It feels like lifetimes ago.
This year, however, friends and family came from all over the world to join me in 5 days of plant medicine ceremony.
During the night I would look around and feel profound love for the women that surround me and deep respect for the men that are part of my circle.
Teachers, mentors, brothers and sisters actually being there for one another.
In song, dance, heart and work, I was reminded of the sacred meaning of friendship.
Or in Spanish “amigo” (s/he who is love(d))
Tears of gratitude fell short in appreciating how much my life has changed and how fortunate I am to have such a family.
Yesterday, I resented… Then I owned it and became responsible.
Today I appreciate and prosper. ♥️
What a miracle it is how, once we shift who we are, life can’t help but reflect that.
The better it gets, the better it gets!
Thanks to everyone who came to share a moment of rebirth with me.
I love you 🙏🏼
If you feel the calling to sit with Ayahuasca, in a container held by Colombian Shamans at a sacred temple in the middle of the mountain forests, please check: