Ayahuasca and romantic relationships!
Can Ayahuasca help me figure out why i cannot seem to attract the kind of love that i want in my life, or whether i should stay or leave from my current relationship with my partner?
If i’m going through a breakup or a heartbreak – to recover from, to understand the rule that i played and what happened?
These are the type of questions that come when we find ourselves in a place of chaos in our relationships.
Ayahuasca is a tool that we have heard works in healing, usually mental, physical, emotional and energetic ailments, diseases.
It’s a tool that we have heard works in supporting a person to find a life purpose, to become more connected to themselves, but does it work with relationships?
The first thing that i want to share with you is that if you’re going through a heartbreak, that is a beautiful, beautiful gift.
If you’re going through confusion in your relationship, it is a gift as well, because confusion, heartbreak, the grief of a relationship that is not going or didn’t go the way that we expected or the grief of loneliness for a lot of people means that we feel disillusioned.
Which means we are getting off the illusion, which is always a very good thing, when we are no longer living in an illusion, we are connected to reality, to the world as it is, not as we expect it to be.
Ayahuasca, as i have shared in previous blogs/videos, is a tool that creates deeper awareness, awareness is the only medicine that exists.
Consciousness, clarity of seeing, feeling, perceiving, is the mother of all medicines.
What i mean by this is that when we have relational problems, it is rarely (if ever) about the other person, it tends to be for the most part about something unprocessed within ourselves that we tend to outsource, that we tend to put on the other person.
Here’s an example, i’ve met a lot of women, some of my good friends over the years, that when we were younger they got into an ugly relationship, their boyfriend would beat them up.
They came out of there thinking: “Wow, that guy was an asshole.“
I’d agree, then they’d get into another relationship and the same thing would happen, i’d think:
“Okay, maybe she has very bad luck…” then it happened 3-5 more times.
I remember another woman that, when she was single she’d get into accidents, when she was in a relationship she’d get beaten up by her boyfriends.
When she was working out she’d maybe drop weights on her face, too many accidents in the same pattern make you wonder.
Maybe that’s not an accident, like there’s something here at work…
The opposite is also true.
I’ve met men who in their fake nice-ness, in their dormatic behaviour, have compromised their truth and allowed for a woman to walk on top of them over and over.
They’ve been taken advatange of, co-created abusive relationships, you may say: “Oh, it’s just bad men about women.“
But in reality if we take full responsibility of our life we will realize that there is something that we are bringing out in other person, something that the other person is bringing out from us.
Which is usually our triggers, our fears, our inadequacies, the pain that we have endured in a relationship.
All of this comes up for us to deal and heal it.
When we drink Ayahuasca, whether you’re single or in a relationship, it will bring profound clarity as to how you’re sabotaging yourself from receiving love from other people.
From other people, from life itself, from yourself.
It will also show you the ways in which you are unconsciously destroying something that is beautiful.
It’s very often and very easy to think that it’s my partner’s fault, they need to change, they need to be fixed.
It takes a lot of courage and honesty to look within and say: “You know what, i have played a role in this, there is something within me that chose this person, there’s a fear within me of living because, if i could easily let them go, find and choose something better then why don’t i?“
You will find people who are in toxic relationships who cling tightly while blaming the other person, when we cling tightly it is us who are holding that, there is something in there for us to learn, to feel.
Quite often in a lot of relationships people find someone they can judge, so they can feel good about themselves, there’s a lot of people that only love their partner if they’re miserable, because then they’ll feel a little bit better than them.
If the other person has too many problems then maybe my life is not so bad.
Ayahuasca will help you be radically honest with yourself, about who you are, what you actually want in relationships, and about all the ways in which you are destroying the possibility of that happening.
But more than that, all of these will create a space within your heart in which you feel free and worthy of receiving love, also giving love.
You’re in a relationship or wish to be in one, maybe you’re healing from one.
Ayahuasca can be a great tool.
It was a breakup, in fact, that brough me along this path and showed me that there were so many things i didn’t know about myself, all these things were coming up in my relationships.
Destroying things that were beautiful. Because i decided to do the work then, eventually i met the woman with whom there was more alignment with, whom today is my wife.
Sometimes there’s problems and there are issues, i tend to think it’s her fault, her mistakes, she’s the one that needs to change.
When i drink medicine, it humbles me, it shows me all the ways in which i am not showing up to my full authenticity, all the ways in which i am tolerating low standards from myself or from her.
All the ways in which i close down to love and i become bitter and resentful.
Once i go through these things i come back to my partner with a wider heart, with more vulnerability, with more understanding, that it wasn’t her that needed to be fixed.
It was me!
If you feel the calling to sit with Ayahuasca, in a container held by Colombian shamans at a sacred temple in the middle of the mountain forests, please check: