I’ll start by sharing a little bit about my own stories, my ambitions, my own realizations for those curious.
“I wanna know“, “What may have happened?“
Ayahuasca healing something physical by taking care of something energetic.
This happened, a year and a half ago when i had been having a lot of upper and middle back pain issues and i felt that it was because I was sitting on my laptop for too long, i was tattooing in a hunched position for far too long, so i felt that, maybe, i’m not working out, i’m not taking care of my body, maybe i just have poor posture.
Over time it had been accumulating and I felt this arduous pain – I had a training coach I went to and got a physiotherapy, i paid a chiropractor, i spent quite a lot of money trying to get professionals to help me with this and it helped a little bit, but the pain would come back and it would come back.
Then i thought: “What’s happening? There must be something else then, that i cannot see…“
I had been working with Ayahuasca so I decided that in my next trip, my next ceremony, I was gonna ask the plant to help me understand and hopefully heal whatever was happening with my back.
Other experts were providing temporary solutions; “You need to work out more“, you need to do this and that, I would do those things, but my body would still feel a lot of pain and tension.
I went to ceremony and as I started connecting with the medicine he started to show me how the body is constructed – from the moment of birth, (This may sound a little bit strange but stay with me).
He started showing me how I was energy and we all are, before we incarnate in a body and how that energy starts putting itself together simultaneously with the process of the cellular division.
The antenna or the foundation of the body, of our energies. It becomes the spine or column, he was showing me how our column is what supports our body, what holds our body erect, firm in a solid way.
It showed me an analogy that externally in our environment our family represents our spine because the family we are born into are ideally, supposed to be our support, to be what and who help us grow straight, who support us in becoming full-fledged humans, the same way that our spine and the health of it determines the health of our body, the health of our nervous system.
Our family and the health of it will determine a lot of things; if you grew up in a very toxic family you probably know that this has quite an impact, also if you grew up in a very beautiful and happy family you also know that it makes such a difference.
The medicine showed me that our family represents our spine and then it showed me that there were two areas in my spine where things were out of balance – that’s where i had the pockets of intense pain.
Then he showed me that one of those spinal discs corresponded to my father, another one to my little sister, my younger sister.
It showed me that just recently, right around the time that the pain accentuated in my back, I had sort of a fight with the two of them and we were (or I felt) a little resentful, a little tense, distant, there was some unpleasantness brewing within me and i think on their end as well.
The plant showed me that i could do all the workouts, i could hire all the experts, but until energetically I solved that friction with my family, my spine will not come back to its right place, so.
It took me about 10 days to gather the courage to call my dad and say: “I am sorry, i love you.” to restore the connection, the friendship – and then to call my sister as well and do the same.
As soon as i did, i felt this weight being lifted off my body, being lifted off my back and as you can guess, I don’t have it anymore.
Ayahuasca can sometimes guide us to understand the deeper reasons, energetically, of our pain, what’s happening to our body usually has an energetic signature, energetic reason and sometimes we need to work it out alone.
I’m not saying that if you’re sick you need to fix things with your family because a lot of families do not understand and they will never hear you, sometimes it’s better to keep your distance with from them.
I’m not saying that your healing must be placed on whether or not your relationship with your family is good, however, it may lie on your internal feelings about them. In this case what the medicine told me was not: “You need to be best friends with your father.“
He told me: “You need to clear that with him.” Which could have looked like me working it out through; journaling, meditation, reflection. However, the fastest way for me was to call him and have a conversation.
I invite you, if you’re considering on drinking Ayahuasca, to understand that maybe what you think the issue is has deeper roots that you may be unaware of.
I could still be going to chiropractors and fitness coaches, people giving me advice on how to train my back without understanding that at the core of it there was something that i couldn’t see – this is the beauty of plant medicine, it teaches us and shows us how to see and what’s underneath the things we bump against in our day to day.
If you feel the calling to sit with Ayahuasca, in a container held by Colombian shamans at a sacred temple in the middle of the mountain forests, please check: www.ayahuascacolombia.com/retreats