Maybe you just came back from a plant medicine retreat (hopefully with us!) or you’re thinking of it and youre unsure of what it may bring, or maybe you already drunk the medicine and came back.

  • What if it destabilizes my mind?
  • What if i end up too sensitive?
  • What if i don’t like my wife anymore?
  • What if i don’t like my job?
  • Am i gonna lose my mind?

Finding yourself in a crisis, where you feel more anxious.
Where you want to eat more, distract yourself.

Maybe the things that you went to heal just came back even stronger, and you’re wondering.

Why do i feel like this?”
Maybe this was bad for me
I was so good before i went and now, look at so much chaos around me…

Whether you’ve already drank the medicine and you’re going through a period of uncertainty.

Or whether you’re thinking about it, and you want to prevent it.

Integration is the most important part of drinking plant medicine, it’s the part where most people fail unfortunately. Why?

Because there’s two types of crisis/pain that people will suffer after a ceremony, it’s not always like this but it happens quite often.

These two types of pain are

  • Internal Pain
    Which refers to something that feels unsettled, uneasiness, very unstable energy in the system, maybe you come back home and it doesn’t quite feel like home.
    Maybe you dont feel like yourself, you feel depressed, distant, very irritable – or you feel a deep desire to indulge in your compulsions.

  • External Pain
    I don’t want to work anymore“, “I don’t want to be in this relationship“, “I don’t like the city i live in“.
    These are common things, they’re okay, and its not rare, it’s part of the process, but why?
    Because it is inviting you to be more attentive in the way you live your life,
    Ayahuasca you can think of it as turning the lights on, on a home that has been dark for a very long time.
    Imagine you live yourself in that house, its very dark, no lights. You eat something and then you throw the garbage somewhere around, with enough years you’re bound to have made a big mess.
    It probably stinks, but it was so gradual that you dont notice it, there’s piles of garbage on the floor and you constantly trip over them, you walk from the bathroom to the kitchen and youre constatly tripping, falling.
    And then you ask yourself, what’s the point of this life, it’s all pain, i just fall and it reeks of garbage.
    It’s because you haven’t noticed the uncoscious ways in which you’ve accumulated things.

What Ayahuasca does is it allows us to claim a big part of that, but more than taking care of that for us, it simply turns the lights on.

So you suddenly realize the mess you lived in, which makes your first natural response to be: anxious, worrying. Thinking “Oh my god, my life was so much better before“.

Well, of course you’d think it used to be better, before you couldn’t see what was actually happening in your heart, in your mind, in your life. Before, you had a big shell that numbed you from actually dealing with the roots of everything that lies at the core of your suffering.

Of course it felt better, but in reality it wasn’t, you just grew accostumed to the darkness.

And now that he lights are on, you start to take responsibility, you stop visualizing the house as something that was clean, you realize where the mess was, and the time its gonna take to clean it up.

So how do we deal with this crisis?

First, we acknowledge it, it’s a gift, something has been brought to your attention in a very strong way, and it makes it urgent to be dealt with.

Secondly, understand that if the crisis is internal, there are things you can do to support yourself, to work on your mind, your emotions, your body.
If it’s external, like your job, your relationships, your family, your friends or your habits, then its a beautiful thing.

My life shattered into many pieces after my first retreat, it was tense.

I went out with the friends that i used to go out with and i didn’t feel that connection, i went out to drink and my body could barely stomach a glass of wine, i met a girl that i was in love with and i still loved her but i realized that this was not my woman.

A lot of things changed and it was hard for me to cope with them, and part of me wanted to think that there was something wrong with Ayahuasca, destroyed my friendships, relationships, the work that i was doing.

But what it did was destroy the illusion that i was living on.

I thought all of these things were fine, they were aligned with me, when they were not.
They were aligned to a part of me that was pathological that was unconscious.

The moment that the fire had been released and healed, i realized there was no alignment for me in those places.

If you’re going through a crisis, first, recognize that this is a gift, unpack it and dont get lost in the process, can you receive the invitation that it is bringing to you?
Secondly, if the crisis is external, recognize it also a gift, it means a big transition is coming, a new life being created if you are patient enough and open enough

Thirdly, if you’re concerned about what may happen after you go to the ceremony, don’t let this scare you.

Childbirth is a massive crisis for the women, for the family, for the man.

There’s a lot of things happening, but it’s also the beginning point of something very beautiful, the same thing can happen with plant medicine.

It may create a lot of chaos.

But it’s the chaos of someone who is reorganizing their home.

If you feel the calling to sit with Ayahuasca, in a container held by Colombian Shamans at a sacred temple in the middle of the mountain forests, please check: