Can you get back your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend – ex-wife/husband with Ayahuasca?
Can you heal from heartbreak and the pain, the grief, the sadness that follows a breakup?
This is one of the main reasons people come to drink medicine – they were in love, they were somebody that maybe thought that was their person.
Their other half, media naranja (half orange) like we say in Colombia.
Then you realize that’s not the case, you’re disillusioned – which means you are out of the illusion you had with that person, you thought the relationship was going to last forever.
Breakups have a beautiful gift, they invite you to look at yourself and who you are, what you want.
Whether it was their fault, maybe you caught them cheating or doing something that broke the agreements of the relationship.
Or whether it was yours, you were the one that through your anger, your lies or lack of effort lost the other person.
There is something at the core of this and it’s an energy of unconsciousness, either yours or the other person’s.
How can Ayahuasca help with this? The first thing that you need to understand is that there’s 2 options every time that you go through a breakup:
- Take your time alone, take a break from dating and understand what was it that caused this break up.
- Rush into dating new people in hopes that things are going to be different, but they will not be.
You may have seen that over and over, maybe some of your past partners look very similar – not phisically but emotionally, the way they are.
You think “Wow, all men/women are controlling, they’re possessive, violent.” but it’s not that.
Maybe all the men/women that you’re dating are like that.
The first thing that Ayahuasca is going to invite you to do is to pay attention and take responsibility for your choices, but beyond that it’s going to allow you to see where those choices are coming from.
Because you’re thinking: “This was my perfect person and i chose them.“
In reality, most people are a bundle of scattered desires, their mind wants something, their heart wants something else, their body wants something different.
Ayahuasca often shows us that the partners that we choose are trauma bonds.
What is a trauma bond? it means that it’s something in a relationship that you develop that resembles/creates an enviroment around you in which you have no option but to relieve trauma that you have lived in your childhood.
This is why they call it mommy issues, you often find men/women who play a role similar to the one that your caregiver did with their virtues and also their flaws.
A trauma bond’s intention is to allow you to relieve this experience and hopefully this time learn from it, you’re trying to sort out something that happend when you were young through another person but as you may have seen this is rarely the case.
Usually what we end up doing is suffering and wondering: “Why do we suffer?“
Here’s a personal example: When i was growing up, my mother used to be very controlling – i understand because i’m from Colombia and it’s a very dangerous country.
It was her reaction and attempt of keeping me and my sister safe.
But then i grew up thinking all women/femenine is controlling – it will steal my freedom, i cannot trust it/them.
I grew up avoiding commitment because for me a relationship with a woman meant; I’m gonna be controlled, I’m gonna lose my freedom.
So every woman that i met i would tell them: “I only want open relationships and i want you to know, chances are if i’m not with you i am with other women, i’m not going to be exclusive with you, so, please don’t call/check on me.” this and that…
I did this in my attempts to be a free, honest and upfront man about things. However, due to me saying and acting this way, women that were not controlling or possessive became very insecure.
They started checking my phone, calling, trying to control, trying to manipulate and make sure that i did what they wanted because now they felt: “This guy’s gonna run away with somebody else.“
Unconsciously, i was trying to run away from controlling women, trying to run away from my mom in every woman that i met, this forced me to bring this side out of the women that i dated, it was a trauma bond.
It was not until i healed that i started attracting different women, but even better, drawing a different side from everyone that i attracted.
So, can Ayahuasca help you cure your heartbreak?
Well, to cure means that you understand it first, it allow you to understand where it comes from;
Why you chose that person, why was that choice perfect for you, why is the pain that you’re suffering right now useful to you, what can you do about it, what did you do to bring out that part of that person, what unresolved things led you to act in ways that destroy your relationship.
Before you think about healing, you need to think about understanding and clarity.
Ayahuasca will take you to that point, all the way through childhood;
How is your relationship with you parents? What is still inside your system? Which things did your dad not give you that you were trying to get from the man that you encounter? What things did mom did to you that now you’re trying to either get more or less in your relationships?
Once you go through that, you forgive yourself, you forgive your parents, your partners, now you have a blank slate.
Now the point from which you can connect to somebody is very different because now you’re conscious and it’s not coming from a place of trauma, this can mean one of two things:
- Suddenly, you’re a more attractive and dynamic partner, suddenly the person that didn’t want to be with you is thrilled and excited about the new you because they realized that you have changed.
- The person that you were so in love with/some people that are married go home and they realize that there’s nothing in that person that they used to be so in love with, nothing is aligned with them.
The second one happened to me, one time, i went back to Toronto and i realized that a woman that i thought i was deeply in love with, the traction, the desire that i felt towards her and nurturing that relationship was gone.
She’s a great woman and i honor her friendship, but i realized the woman, whatever was drawing me closer to her, came from the wrong place.
A place of trauma unconsciously, because i couldn’t see in what way she was resembling my mother.
Ayahuasca will bring you to a point of consciousness and from that point you will either attract a more aligned partner or you will become a better partner.
You will clarify how, maybe, everything that you thought was their problem/mistakes/issues, something they had to solve, maybe you were creating it all along, that’s the beauty of this work.
It invites us to be responsible for what we’re creating in life, because if you’re 100% responsible, you can change it, if you can change it you can create something new.
If you feel the calling to sit with Ayahuasca, in a container held by Colombian shamans at a sacred temple in the middle of the mountain forests please go to: https://ayahuascacolombia.com/retreats