A lot of times, we speak about self-work, self-development, the spiritual journey, healing, shadow work, therapy, etc.
But if someone ever asked me about what is the one thing that a person would need (not Ayahuasca) to turn their life around…
The biggest lesson, the biggest teachings that you’ve had from the Shamans, Gurus, Yogi, from life itself that you’d share with somebody.
It would be personal responsibility.
It is impossible to change your life as long as you’re committed to being a victim of your circumstances.
A victim of your past, with your relationships, your upbringing, your parents.
I’m not saying that you need to pretend that the abuse you endured as a child, the betrayal that may have happened in your romantic relationships didn’t happen.
This is not about bypassing or about pretending that life is not what it was, this is about understanding that:
Whatever happened, happened. It is our choice how we respond to it, what we choose to do moving forward.
This happened, here we are.
There was pain, chaos, yet here we are. Where do we go from here?
The thing is that there’s nowhere to go if we’re victims of somebody else, because that means that our power remains scattered.
If you felt and knew that you were the creator of your experience, of all life that bursts through you, that you’re not really an expectator or secondary character on a book.
But you’re also the writer.
You’ll see your life in a different way, you’ll see your problems in a different light.
You’ll understand that behind every challenging situation there’s been a choice that comes afterwards.
Wisdom or wounding are usually the two main choices that we have access to.
Personal responsibility means that i commit myself to being 100% responsible for everything that goes on in my life.
“But Nico, you know, the government, my wife and my parents…!“
I understand, but look at your life and how much that has served you so far – to keep pointing fingers.
I’m not saying they didn’t play a role in what happened, they probably did, i don’t know the full extent to which they may have inflicted pain on you.
But you can leave that pain where it belongs – in the past.
They inflicted pain on you in one moment, then you carried that pain with you for years and years.
So, who’s the real abuser?
Them, that did something once or twice, maybe a handful of times?
Or you, that carries that pain for years, day in and day out?
Ultimately, we need to have enough self-love to be responsible for every part of our life to understand that: We can do it.
We’re in charge of it, life can and should be better, because… why not?
From this place, do whatever we can do to improve things, maybe it’s just a little bit, but if i ask myself the question of:
- How was i responsible for what happened?
- How can i respond to what happened?
- How would i like to respond?
Then i’d be orienting: my mind, my body, my whole karma structure as well. Into a direction of resolution, creation and of growth.
But as long as my energy remains stuck in past relationships, in certain areas, because i feel that somebody else owes me or that somebody else controls the life that i live because of what they did to me.
Then i remain powerless, or very disempowered.
So, if there’s one thing that you’re willing and courageous enough to embrace, to live differently, it’s personal responsibility.
How you feel about what happens is your responsibility, you may not control everything that goes around you, phyisically, externally.
But you can control how you respond to it.
Your heart and your mind are your temples.
How do you treat them? Do they experience ease, bliss, peace or is it chaos, anxiety, depression?
Nobody can force you to feel a certain way, they can create conditions that are very supportive of feeling great or feeling terrible, but the conditions do not determine nor define the way that you feel inside.
Because the day that you learn to walk joyfull and blissful as a choice yet not as a result of your external circumstances, is the day that you’re fully free.
Freedom is a lot more valuable than a happiness that is derived from others doing and being who i expect them to be and do.
Freedom is a lot more valuable than comfort, or a happiness that can be taken away from us the moment that somebody tells us something we don’t like.
The moment we remember that thing our parents did when we were little, something my uncle did, the government is doing.
That’s not peace, there’s no peace there, the moment that we become responsible is the moment that things change.
Where i can choose to be happy, no matter what is happening.
I can still act in a way that is relevant or necessary, to draw boundaries, maybe i need some distance.
Doesn’t mean that you have to become permissive or adornment, not at all.
It’s not about good vibes only, it’s about being conscious.
Action depends on what the moment demands, but how you feel is a choice.
And i wish for you to exercise this choice as often as consciously, fully and often as possible.
This is the essence of personal responsibility.
If you feel the calling to sit with Ayahuasca, in a container held by Colombian shamans at a sacred temple in the middle of the mountain forests, please check: