How do you focus on self-worth or feelings of unworthiness.
Worth is basically the value you give yourself and your life, how valuable you feel – how valuable is a cup of water from the ocean?
Some could argue: “Really valuable, it’s part of nature, it’s part of the ocean, we need the oceans to survive.” and whatnot, somebody else could say: “Not really valuable, not worth much, can’t do much with it…” but ultimately, nobody wakes up thinking: “Is the ocean worth it?“, “Is the ocean unworthy?“
Why? because we’re not in the game of trying to place a value to it, therefore, it’s priceless.
The question of worthiness falls when there’s not a value judgment, let me explain this in simpler words.
Being worthy and unworthy comes in relationship to something, being deserving of, being valuable. For whom?
Some people could say worms are unworthy; they’re ugly, gooey, disgusting. But if you ask the plants/nature, worms are really worth it, they make sure that the nutrients get to the soil.
Another example, “Birds are so worthy! – they’re so beautiful and they sing, it’s great in the mornings.”
Recently i saw a bird here in Colombia that grabs rocks and then he beats up snails in their shell to death and then he basically drinks the dead snail juice, the snail could say: “Oh those birds are quite atrocious, terrible, horrible and violent, they’re unworthy of being here.”
It’s a question that only matters if you’re judging yourself or if you’re trying to see your value in relationship to something else. Therefore, you can always find reasons and evidence to support either way of the equation.
If I ask you right now, tell me 5 things that you have done in your life that make you unworthy of living, i could come up with them and many more you could probably do the same and it will turn into a pity party or at least a very sad exchange.
I could also ask you: “Hey, tell me 10 things you have done that have made your life worth it.” You could come up with it. I could come up with them, deep stuff, simple, looking at the sunrise, feeling love for somebody, playing with a child, creating a business, whatever is important to each of us.
Instead of playing a game in life where you’re constantly seeking evidence to support you or to drown in it, how about you let go of the game altogether?
Life is not asking you to place value judgments on it, the moment is free from meaning, it’s neutral in a deep sense and so are you.
Whether you deserve to be alive or not, if you weren’t you would not have been born, the source of creation, the intelligence, that lies within this reality has made sure that everything serves its purpose, everything.
The dung beetle has a very, very important purpose, to keep an ecosystem, the ugly worms have a profound role and the most violent bird as well, the plants, the water, the air and you too.
Now, your journey may be one where you still don’t know the role that you play in your ecosystem and the importance that the role you have placed.
That’s a different question that’s more a question of, “What am i to use my life for? What will feel exciting? How I enjoy spending this life that was given to me?” Whether I deserve it or not, who cares. Now that i got it let’s make the most out of it.
You got a bicycle for your birthday, whether you were a good/bad kid, who cares, you got it, whoever gave it to you clearly thought that you were a great kid and therefore you deserved it, you were worth it, you were worthy of a nice bicycle.
Your question is not to dim or to question their choice or their decision. “I was a bad kid, why did you give me a bicycle? Maybe I deserve it, maybe I don’t…” and then whip yourself, torture yourself with those thoughts, no.
Your role is to say “Thank you“, somebody thought that I was worth of receiving this so i’m going to take it and now my question is;
How far do i want to go? How much adventure do I want to include? How much risk do I want?
Do i want to go downhill? Do i want to just cruise through the roads? Do i want to play in circles? Do i want to do tricks?
What excites me? Do i just want to go and see landscape? Do I want to take it to go and visit my friends?
My invitation is, worthiness is just a matter of placing value and judgment on things.
If you drop the game the question disappears, the intelligence that gave everything a purpose, that gave everything a reason and a function in this ecosystem of life thought that you were needed and life was given to you.
It’s not smart to question the why or whether you deserved it or not, you received the gift, you received the present.
A smart question, a more intelligent use of your mental and physical resources is thinking: “All right, i got it, somebody thought I was worth it now what do I want to do with it? What will i enjoy doing with it?”
You will find that as you make use of your energies, of your time, of your life in a way that excites you more and more you will understand the reason why that higher intelligence gave you life in the first place.
It will make sense, not by questioning it but by experiencing it.